Reasons Why Jake Berry is Actually a Female…

I stumbled upon this today as I was looking for a paper I had written & it brought me so much joy that I thought I’d share. (P.S. He helped write this.)

1.      He’s pretty.

2.      He constantly makes sandwiches for people.

3.      He can almost cry on cue.

4.      He desires to be a school teacher.

5.      Long. Flowing. Hair.

6.      He discusses his long, flowing hair.

7.      He comments on the aesthetic value of poker chip color arrangements.

8.      He cooks, and cleans, for a living.

9.      He has oddly regular cycles.

10.  He can’t drive.

11.  He can’t handle so much as a bicycle well.

12.  He likes to match sometimes.

13.  Eyelash batting skillz.

14.  He spells skills with a z.